I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
