The maid of honor just puked.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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