so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize