its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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