AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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