well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
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Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
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Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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