If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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