CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
