I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
