I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
