dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize