Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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