i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
