im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
