Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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