Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
