That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
