Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize