My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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