I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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