just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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