dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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