He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
