So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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