what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
