She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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