he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
