I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize