We're like a lot better than the average bears
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
