I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
