We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
