could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize