I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
