dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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