It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize