You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
