Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
