Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
