went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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