We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
