he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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