Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he thought i was a dude.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
