she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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