im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My dick has a subreddit
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
