Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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