is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
