i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
