I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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