i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
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I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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