would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
