CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
