That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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