even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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