We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
