it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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