she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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