There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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