hotel room ftw
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
BRING THE BAGELS
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
