apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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