Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I cut my penus on the lid.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
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I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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