Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
