I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
