just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
