Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
