oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
