Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
