i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
