I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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