Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I love you. Go after that dick
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
